Spirit work is the practice of building and sustaining intentional relationships with spirits or other non-corporeal beings. This connection can include ancestors, land spirits, household spirits, or plant spirits. This relationship is reciprocal, meaning that there is a give and there is a take, but at its core, this isn’t purely transactional. It’s built on your sustained bond to the spirit that you’re working with. You forge that bond as you would in any relationship: trust, consistency, and communication. But what does that look like in your daily life? Which parts are dramatized, misunderstood, or misinterpreted?
Many ancient civilizations recognized the importance of the spirit world in their daily lives. In classical Roman religion, it was believed that a household would function in relation to how well the spirits of the house were cared for. If you neglected the spirits, your household would suffer. If you cared for them, you enjoyed prosperity and abundance. Shrines for these spirits were constructed within the home, often in heavily trafficked spaces. Common objects found on these shrines included small figurines of the spirit, often represented as a snake, libations, and food. The shrine was frequently visited during the day by anyone in the household. Even if it was simply a hello or goodbye, it was enough to maintain that connection to the spirits housed in the home. Rome is not the only place we see household shrines set up; there are many civilizations around the world with similar practices that exist even in the modern day! While most modern practitioners do not live exactly as the Romans did, the underlying principle remains the same: that spirit relationships are maintained through regular acknowledgment, care, and presence.
Many think that the prerequisite for defining a relationship as “spirit work” is constant and large activity. That it’s something that you have to go out of your way for. Most spirit work takes the form of a connection that is integrated into daily life. We saw this example with the Romans and their connection to their Genuis Loci. They did a little bit each day. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t grand gestures given as offerings to the spirits, no, it just means that it is sustained by actions that you can easily incorporate into your day. Silence and stillness are healthy parts of spirit work. Hearing the unseen 24/7 is something that sounds cool in theory, but can be very draining in practice. Instead, this connection you have to the spirits you work with will often take the form of an unseen presence you feel, intuitive nudges, and an influence that weaves its way through your life. If your connection doesn’t feel dramatic or look cinematic every day, that is perfectly normal and to be expected! You are not any less of a spirit worker because of this stillness; in fact, you’re on the right track to building a sustainable relationship with your spirits. Remember: spirit work is built on consistency, not necessarily intensity.
Regular acts of devotion do more for your relationship than large, rare rituals. Spirit relationships can remain stable even when your daily life has to take priority, as long as you work on building consistency in your practice. One way of building this consistency is by setting a routine. What can you do every single day that will strengthen your relationship with the spirit that you are working with? If you’re working with a plant spirit, perhaps that looks like opening the curtains every morning as you greet your plant, making sure they receive adequate light. When I work with my ancestral spirits, I tend to sing to them and talk to them as I do my hair for the day, a ritual that existed even when they were alive. My closest friends and I cook with our spirits present in the kitchen, an act you hear about a lot as a joke on TikTok and Instagram, but it’s an actual practice you can engage in! These are small but highly impactful moments that strengthen that connection and trust with the spirits around you. Nothing is too small when it is done with both intention and care. What you are looking for is stability, and if you create it and tend to it, it will remain even if you have to step away for a bit.
A tool that can help keep you accountable is a contract. If you hear “contract” and you start thinking “selling your soul in a pact” magic, take a deep breath. Magical law practices have been around for eons, even if they’re called different things. Not every practitioner chooses to use them, and they are not required for spirit work. However, for those who benefit from structure, they can be a helpful tool. The creation of a document for the sake of building trust, accountability, and forging this relationship is not anything negative; it’s a tool that should help you. It’s a document that you keep that outlines your goals, the spirit’s goals, both of your boundaries, the length of the relationship (if applicable), and any commitments you set. You keep all of this in a form that is able to be accessed, signed, regularly looked at, and updated if needed. Some of my friends have written these things on chalkboards that they keep above their altars. It can be very formal, or it can be informal! It’s also a great thing to have if you ever need it, whether you use it as a guide for daily activity or as a reference for boundaries. Nothing is too specific to put into this document, and it’s meant to help and protect both you and the spirit.
We’ve talked about what we give to spirits, but there is a right way and a wrong way to go about asking spirits for things. An important thing to know about spirit work is the fact that spirits are not tools. They’re not something that you command out of the blue, then toss away when you’re finished. They’re not objects, they are beings just like you or me. Approaching spirit work with entitlement or a control-oriented thought process does a lot more harm than good, and it will damage your relationship or keep one from forming in the first place. If you need something that you know they can help with, be kind and ask them for help, like you would ask one of your close friends for help. Do you need a friend to help soothe your anxiety before a test? Ask your spirit if they’ll accompany you and envelop you with warmth. They will either say yes, or they’ll say no! They have boundaries just like we do, so a “no” is always in the realm of possibility, and learning to accept either answer respectfully is part of the work. As long as you approach them genuinely and you’re open to their answer, a “no” is most likely the worst thing you’ll get as well!
Spirit work is not a one-size-fits-all path. It often looks different from practitioner to practitioner. Everyone starts this path for different reasons. Sometimes, those dealing with grief walk this path to help both them and the spirits heal. Sometimes, practitioners work with spirits to grow their innate psychic abilities. There may be similarities that you see with those around you, but there may be differences as well! This does not mean that those around you are “faking,” or that you’re faking. It just means that they may be approaching the path a different way, or engaging with it for a different reason than you. As long as the practitioner approaches this path with respect as their central focus, those reasons are valid, and the practice will work out. Just know that there is no real “fast track” for forming this relationship with spirits. Walk patiently, listen, and allow this practice to develop in a way that is authentically yours, and you will eventually come to trust the spirits you are connected to, and they will begin to trust you. There will be quiet seasons, uncertain moments, and periods of growth that cannot be rushed. This is a long road—one that unfolds over years, not days—and those who walk it with humility, steadiness, and care will find that the relationships they build are enduring, meaningful, and deeply rooted.
Sanctuary of the Crossroads 
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